Lover of My Soul

My stomach tosses and turns when you call me beautiful. My mind spins faster than a top and my heart pumps against my chest.

My whole being fills with longing for the deep things inside of me only you can satisfy. I cannot contain the thoughts that you would sacrifice everything for me, your child.

I get all jittery knowing that you are always with me and will never leave. Although sometimes it feels like you have left, I know that you never do, and it is me who blocks you out.

I hate it when I hurt you, when I do not listen to what you have to say. It pierces my soul. You lead me into peace with your forgiveness.

You heart breaks for us. Your thoughts are consumed with us. Your crazy for us.

Romans 8:38 For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

I can't even imagine how great your love is for me, everyday I am understanding more. My whole being bursts with joy because you are alive and nothing can ever separate us.

Its kinda funny because whenever I enter the presence of God I am so overcome and overwhelmed with happiness that I cry. Occasionally my thoughts shift to what other people must be thinking, do they think that I am hurt or ashamed? do they think that I must have done something really horrible and am confessing it all to God? do they think this or do they think that.

I worry about what others will think of my tears and it breaks the deep connection I am having with him. Why? because I am focusing on myself rather than on God. In the book I'm reading called Exploring Worship it says that "a worshiper is one whose perspective is being expanded, whose focus is decreasingly on self, and whose interests are flamed by the passion of God himself." This is so true. As soon as my focus moves to myself I am lost.

"The goal for our worship should be that we come to the point where we do not see anyone or anything around us, but we become totally taken up with God."

I will not worry about what others think of my tears but will allow God to consume me, take me in, body, heart, and soul. It is not the opinions of others which matter after all, only Gods.

I encourage you to ignore the distraction of wondering what others may think. Stand before the Lord undignified and offer yourself fully to him.

2 Sam 6:22 "I will become even more undignified than this, and I will be humiliated in my own eyes. "

I want to worship with no inhibitions, I will strive to view my tears as a gifts from God rather than a bother. I cherish those times of intimacy with my creator, they fill me with overwhelming happiness and deep insight into who he really is.

Jesus, Lover of My Soul.
Jesus, I will never let You go.
You've taken me from the miry clay,
Set my feet upon a rock, and now I know.
I love You, I need You.

Though my world may fall,
I'll never let You go.
My Savior, my closest friend,
I will worship You until the very end.

Tess-timony <3