Ever since I was a little girl I have wanted to go to Africa. There is this deep desire in my heart to go be a part of the culture I have found so fascinating. The overcoming joy and passion that I see in their faces as they worship and praise the Lord is something so divine, something I know that comes from their simple relationship with the Lord.

It seems that the opportunity has come up for me to go next year. I think I will do it. I think I will go for 3 months and serve.

There is still alot of stuff I need to figure out and sort through but I know one thing- I am going to AFRICA!!

Summer 2010. A New Beginning.

As the river flows

Your love carries me

Powerful and Strong

Like a current I can't see

When I go adrift

and turn my face away

Your grace is the net

that keeps me from harm's way

Oh the fabric of your grace

will never break or fray

I wrote this today as I was sitting on Big Rock (seen in above picture) doing my devotions. At first the waters around me were calm and I could see the bottom. The path to the rock was completely clear. But not a long moment later I looked up and it was raging rapids all around me. The path to the rock was covered 4 feet deep in water! When I tried to get down a girl came across the trail and I cried out for help. I threw my books to her but she didn't catch them in time and they fell in the water. You know how when pages get wet they curl up and stick together? Well that's what happened to the book my music pastor lent to me for my internship. Ugh! But anyways, God spoke to me in that moment of his power and wrath and beautiful grace. If He can easily turn a calm stream into raging rapids by his strength and power what more can he do in my life? I have been neglecting this aspect of his character, His powerful nature, by letting small things in life plant in me seeds of doubt in myself and in what He can do through me.

This summer is different than all the rest. These past 4 summers I was away from home doing non-stop ministry where I was on the go all the time interacting with people about Jesus and serving wherever I could. I spent 3 of those summers doing camp ministry and one interning at Eastside Foursquare church in Seattle. I was doing what I love to do most, helping others learn to love Jesus more.

This summer is different because I am not away from home and I will spending alot of it alone during the day. I work in the evenings and have the days free and most of my friends do the opposite. Because I love to be out with people all the time it has been hard for me to adjust. I have become so used to always having so much to do in so little time that having lots of time and little things I need to do feels foreign.

Having an open agenda however is a beautiful opportunity to spend the time I have so desperately yearned to spend with my Saviour. In the quietness I am learning to fall in love with my best-friend once again. There is a real living lover of my soul named Jesus out there who is pursueing my heart and wants to grow closer to me. I think its good that I take a step back from ministering to others this summer and really let Jesus minister to me. This year has been so busy that it was rare that I ever got a moment to relax in His presence and let his word penetrate my heart.

This summer will be life-changing just has the others have been but in a new way. I will leave behind the insecure, doubting, anxious Tess and emerge confident in the plans God has for me, in the message He has called me to give to the world, and in deeper heart knowledge of how Big and Great and Powerful He is.

Bread to my spirit

I printed out a bible reading plan that will take me through the entire bible in a year. It's posted on my wall and every time I do a daily devotion I will cross off one of the days. I've only done two so far but have already seen the fruit of the word grow in me these past couple days.

I think that recording the main lessons I've learned from each one will be helpful and wise reminders for the future. So if you see one sentence blogs they are most likely the theme of my devotion for the day.

Here are the two I have already done.

1.) Before you seek his counsel be prepared to obey it. 1 Kings 22

2.) Real patience is found when it is tested again and again but still endures. 1 Timothy 1:16

Bumble-bee Humble-bee Humble-me

I've realized now that humility is not a frame of mind or a state of being. It is an attitude that acknowledges that God has given us everything we have and without him we would be nothing, our lives would mean nothing.

1 Corinthians 3:7 "So neither he who plants nor he who waters is anything, but only God who gives the growth."

I'm going job hunting tomorrow I think! I'm nervous and really need wisdom about how to handle the difficult situation I'm in with my old job.

God please help me. May I be aware that you are with me in every moment, in every min of every day, in every interview. Give me confidence in the beautiful person you have made me to be. Amen.

Let it be. Let it be. Let it be.

Jesus I pray that you would provide me with a decent paying server job at an organized restaurant with good hours. If its something else then you will open up the door! You have told me many times that I need to stop worrying about not finding one because you know exactly what I need. Help me to trust.

Thanks, Sincerely your daughter