As the river flows
Your love carries me
Powerful and Strong
Like a current I can't see
When I go adrift
and turn my face away
Your grace is the net
that keeps me from harm's way
Oh the fabric of your grace
will never break or fray
I wrote this today as I was sitting on Big Rock (seen in above picture) doing my devotions. At first the waters around me were calm and I could see the bottom. The path to the rock was completely clear. But not a long moment later I looked up and it was raging rapids all around me. The path to the rock was covered 4 feet deep in water! When I tried to get down a girl came across the trail and I cried out for help. I threw my books to her but she didn't catch them in time and they fell in the water. You know how when pages get wet they curl up and stick together? Well that's what happened to the book my music pastor lent to me for my internship. Ugh! But anyways, God spoke to me in that moment of his power and wrath and beautiful grace. If He can easily turn a calm stream into raging rapids by his strength and power what more can he do in my life? I have been neglecting this aspect of his character, His powerful nature, by letting small things in life plant in me seeds of doubt in myself and in what He can do through me.
This summer is different than all the rest. These past 4 summers I was away from home doing non-stop ministry where I was on the go all the time interacting with people about Jesus and serving wherever I could. I spent 3 of those summers doing camp ministry and one interning at Eastside Foursquare church in Seattle. I was doing what I love to do most, helping others learn to love Jesus more.
This summer is different because I am not away from home and I will spending alot of it alone during the day. I work in the evenings and have the days free and most of my friends do the opposite. Because I love to be out with people all the time it has been hard for me to adjust. I have become so used to always having so much to do in so little time that having lots of time and little things I need to do feels foreign.
Having an open agenda however is a beautiful opportunity to spend the time I have so desperately yearned to spend with my Saviour. In the quietness I am learning to fall in love with my best-friend once again. There is a real living lover of my soul named Jesus out there who is pursueing my heart and wants to grow closer to me. I think its good that I take a step back from ministering to others this summer and really let Jesus minister to me. This year has been so busy that it was rare that I ever got a moment to relax in His presence and let his word penetrate my heart.
This summer will be life-changing just has the others have been but in a new way. I will leave behind the insecure, doubting, anxious Tess and emerge confident in the plans God has for me, in the message He has called me to give to the world, and in deeper heart knowledge of how Big and Great and Powerful He is.
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