Lighthouse Rescuer

My eyes are wide-open peering into this deep abyss of your love. Extending above the horizon is your tower that is unmoving. Nothing can wear it down. I cling to its firm foundation.

The lies of your enemy can not tear me down when I am soaked in your truth. The corrosion of the worlds changing tides beat down on me and I let go- pulled farther by each current. I am left vulnerable and insecure.

But still you stand. I know where to go. I cry for rescue- apart from you. Nothing to grab ahold of but the sharp ragged edges. Crashing against the rocks I wince in agony.

The lighthouse pulses but I am afraid. If I get too close will I be exposed.

Echoes of my cries reverberate into the distance- lost and gone- but I know you hear them.

Notes of sweet joy wash over my ears. I can hear you calling me to safety and warmth. NO! I stumble away- the dark caves swallow me.

You cannot- mustn't see me like this. Ignorant grief drips down my face darkening the surface of stones below.

Min, hours, seconds pass; Broken, Bruised and Ashamed I cannot deny you any longer.

I climb out of the opening- pursueing the light. You are closer than I thought. Stepping into the cold rushing depths I swim desperately toward you.

My wounds sting- salt pierces every open cut- cleansing me wholly.

My gaze fixes upon your illuminated smile.

I lose focus- sinking slowly my vision blurs. Panic overtakes me, Hope seems lost, but then I feel your arms wrap around me pulling us toward the surface.

Feet touching bottom, I gasp for air. You pull me out and kiss my forehead. Wrap a blanket around my shoulders- you knew I would come back to you. No words need to be said. Your eyes speak of a love greater than all my iniquities.

My inflictions are healed by your touch. I am aware of the scratches that used to marr my body- they no longer exist.

Peace floods my spirit. Joy cannot be contained. I take your hand. My rescuer, lead me towards the lighthouse, lead me home.

Peace that passes all understanding.

I have been praying for peace for awhile and my request has finally been granted. I cannot even begin to describe what I am feeling - overwhelming joy and thankfulness- I will dance and I will sing to be mad for my king - nothing Lord is hindering this passion in my soul!

Over the past month I've struggled with anxiety, letting my worries get the best of me. I followed Philippian 4: 6-7 almost every day and gave my requests to God each night before bed - asking him for direction and guidance. To be honest I felt like my prayers were hitting a wall and bouncing back. But he was listening the whole time, letting me go through a little agony so that I would be able to recognize his peace when he did choose to give it to me.

As I sat in my cramped up and (messy) dorm room on Saturday and prayed, I was overcome with the peace that I had been waiting for- for so long. The nagging gut feeling I had felt before was lifted off and in its place was a feeling of reassurance and peace. This peace has settled over my heart and my mind and it is not leaving. Although right now I do not know exactly what it is for, I can feel Gods approval over my life and will continue to wait on him.

Philippians 4:6-7 Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus"

Prince of Peace. Take me in- all of me. I choose to follow you and you alone. NOTHING can satisfy me but you. Thank you for making this heavy heart light.

Tess-timony ;)

Singleness is a Gift.

The Big V day is coming up! and you know what that means..

Stores filled with tasty chocolates, Red roses bought by the dozen to be mailed away, couples holding hands and tickling each other on the streets, billboards plastered with big red hearts and restaurants overflowing with bookings for 2.

Romance is in the air and PDA is everywhere!

I am single and to be honest..I have always been single. But I am ok with that. Many singles despise Valentines day. They watch other couples around them and envy. They complain about the sheer cheesiness and pointlessness of such a day and spend it wondering why they dont have anyone special to spend it with. Sure the media overemphasizes everything and makes fairytale romance seem like everyday reality but why do we have to view being single as a curse!

Singleness is a gift. In the words of Joshua Harris "God gives us singleness-a season of our lives unmatched in its boundless opportunities for growth, learning and service-and we view it as a chance to get bogged down in finding and keeping boyfriends and girlfriends. But we dont find the real beauty of singleness in pursueing romance with as many different people as we want. We find the real beauty in using our freedom to serve God with abandon."

Now I am not going to say that I don't desire to have someone to hold me, look into my eyes and tell me that he loves me for me, exactly just the way I am. I'm not going to say I dont desire to have someone to make my heart beat out of my chest and leave me breathless, someone I can laugh with and cry with and spend life serving God with. I do desire it..so much sometimes that it hurts..but I know that by waiting for who God wants for me..and not just giving my heart over to someone who I think will love me because I am too impatient..it will pay off ! The longer you wait for something the more passion and desire you store up for it and the better it is when you actually get it! If we didnt have to wait for it there'd be no anticipation, no build up, no excitement.

Instead of viewing Valentines day as a day only meant for couples to share their love I view it as a day when we can celebrate our love for one another. Love is not just for couples! I am going out for dinner with family on Valentines, and then coming back to my school to spend it with friends and I am so excited! I refuse to spend it wishing I could be someone else or with someone else.

Singleness is God's gift to me and to you. Dont curse it but cherish it! The day will come when you meet that person who is your other half.. but until then....Go out and Spread the LOVE!

Tessaroonie <3>

Friends I never knew I had..

When I was younger I could go away for weeks in the summer and rarely feel lonely- in fact I thrived when I was away from home in someplace new.

It seemed that in the 3 years I worked as a counselor at Timberline Ranch I always seemed to get the really homesick campers in my cabin - ones who would cry night after night despite all my attempts to console them (including letting them sleep in my bed with me). I learned how to be patient and comforting but could never quite understand what it felt like to miss my family that much.

I was a spirited child - I saw my life as that of a wild stallion - beautiful and free. If I felt held down at home, getting away from it was complete bliss. I did appreciate the home and family I had..but not enough.

Now that I am away from my parents and living on dorms, I am becoming more grateful for their dedication to me each and every day. I get to see them once a week on thurs, when I go back to Coquitlam to volunteer as a leader for MSY. Time spent with them is precious and I realize that there is so much about their lives that I still do not know.

But I want to know! I want to know what their goals and dreams and lives were like when they were young adults! The gift of their wisdom is sitting in front of me ready to open! Why havent I wanted to unwrap it before? because I have been selfish, wanting to figure out things my own way rather than asking them for help.

My mom drove me home from school on Thurs and I can honestly say that there was nowhere else I would have rather been than sitting in that car, stuck in 4:30 Surrey traffic, talking with her, asking her questions about her life, and taking everything in. After MSY that night I spontaneously took my Dad out for coffee. I dont know if I have ever spent hours just talking to him about life and seeking his advice before. I think I learned more about him in those 2 and half hours than in the past 2 months!

Getting to know my parents as friends is even more rewarding than I could have imagined. They have wisdom and insight that no friends my age can offer - plus they know me better than anyone =) what more could I ask for?

The more time I spend building relationship with my parents and learning from their experience, the more I look forward to seeing them when I get the opportunity. It is freakin awesome! I desire to know them so well that I will not look back when they pass away and regret taking time I could have spent getting to know them for granted.

I challenge you to spend time getting to know your parents better...Invest it wisely! Seek their advice and you will not only gain a greater relationship with them and valuable wisdom, you will also learn about yourself in the process! Parents are Gifts of Wisdom from God placed before us.

Proverbs 23:22 "Listen to your father, who gave you life, and do not despise your mother when she is old."
Colossians 3:20 "Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord."

Unwrap them! and you just might be surprised ;)

Tessifer

Speechless.

Tongue Twisted and Tongue Tied I stand here..

wondering if the words I speak will come out right

Put down on paper they flow effortlessly

Typed into a keyboard they move quickly across the screen

But why oh why when I try to talk to you do they fumble and stutter

my heart racing against the walls of my chest

One smile and my mind empties

I feel bare and vulnerable

The words on my lips forgotten

But yet there is so much I want to say

So much I want to know

I ache with frustration