No such thing as easy.

(I wrote this as a response to one of my friends posts but then realized that I should heed my own words as well. I thought I would share it with you to encourage you, but as you will soon see not in a feel-good, life is carefree sorta way.)

I know 2010 has been a hard year for you, as it has been for me as well. Through a series of events and tears in freedom session as well as a sermon on suffering which seemed to say the perfect thing at the perfect time I came to a realization.

My pursuit for happiness, comfort, and ease of life was exactly the root of all my negative thoughts and negative actions. What made me feel better was more important to me (as shown in my actions not my desires) than becoming better. It was a selfish thing that led me into all sorts of evils, probably the biggest one was my complaining.

The sermon was about how the mark of someone who has truly given their all to Jesus is someone willing to suffer. (Taking up your cross definitely does not imply a pain-free life) I realized that what I really wanted was to have life easy-I thought that if only did this or did that better for God my life would be free of pain.

But that is not it at all. Until I was willing to face the suffering that would inevitably become greater the more I gave my all to Jesus-I would not become what my heart truly desired-to be more like Him.

I know this does not seem like an encouraging thing at first, but I might add that your expectations of 2011 should include pain and trial and testing and the victory, joy, and true refinement that comes from them.

It will all be worth it.
Tess

I need a Faith.

The more I walk with Christ the harder it seems to get. It seems that as my faith grows there are many more challenges I am faced with that test my faith as if to make sure it will not falter when storms come.

God of course supplies me with what I need to get through the challenges. This teaches me to rely on Him for strength, but the way I see it my circumstances do not always change for the better becoming easier and more comfortable as I would like them to.

I am really struggling at my job right now. I get paid minimum wage to work my butt off in a stressful disorganized restaurant. I get treated like Crap * to say it lightly* but yet I feel the need to show my friends at work that I am set apart and have light by staying joyful and not letting these things bring me down.

I feel like a failure at doing this alot of the time. I leave work frustrated after almost every shift, with some sort of complaint in my mouth. I want to change but despite my efforts I fail.

The thing is..as long as I am trying on my own to be joyful and set apart its not gonna work. God is the one who supplies my joy and sets me apart. I need more faith to trust that despite my attempts to find another job (nothing yet) He has a purpose still for me at my current job. Please pray for me as it is very hard to stay patient and endure these hard circumstances and financial strains.

I need a faith that will trust in the unseen

I need a faith that will help me to believe

That my God will supply everything that I need

I need a faith that will prove He lives in me

Tess