Be the light unto my feet.

"I wait here with uncertainty

about the things my future will bring

with a quiet trust, a deep desire to

sit loyal-lly at your feet

becoming who you want me to be"

Right now I'm in a dilemma. My parents just told me they are in debt and can no longer help me pay for my next semester. Currently we had been splitting the cost. Now I feel as if I have to figure out how I am going to pay for it- all 4 grand..by the end of next semester.

I have complete peace that God will provide- but I know I need to decide whether I am going to continue doing full time studies and working a job 4 days a week, or if I'm going to do part-time studies which will help me work more and lower the cost.

I have no clue what God has in store for me this next year..If I am going to be at Plbc again? heading to Nashville? Going to Africa? Just working at home? Touring with a band? It seems like there are so many dreams I have and things I want to accomplish.

God please give me some clarity and guidance in this time. I simply want to do your will in whatever ways you can best use me. I give this over to you.

Tess.

I love this.

Worship is the submission of all our nature to God. It is the quickening of conscience by His holiness; the nourishment of mind with His truth; the purifying of imagination by His beauty; the opening of the heart to His love; the surrender of will to His purpose-and all of this gathered up in adoration; the most selfless emotion of which our nature is capable and therefore the chief remedy for that self-centeredness which is our original sin and the source of all actual sin.”

William Temple

Trust Him.

Trust Him.

TRUST.

H20 on the go. I'll get another water please.

Had my first solo serving shift tonight..
Only served 3 tables cause the place was jam packed!
It went pretty well, made a few mistakes, but managed to keep my cool.
I realized how demanding customers can be.

Its defs gonna be a journey but I know I can learn some valuable life skills from this job.

1.) The power of the smile and apology.
2.) How to multitask (which I am currently not so great at)
3.) Insane memorization and compartmentalization.
4.)An inventory of funny food jokes.
5.) How to interpret strong foreign accents and language induced with alcohol
6.) Organization!
7.) Resisting temptation (temptation to eat the garlic homeloaf that is...)

yea..I'm sure there will be many more. I'll update the list as I go.

Tess

Satan- your a smart one- but I know someone smarter.

As I watched the Tour Team perform a skit in chapel today I was moved to tears. In one part of it a blindfolded woman and man, began fighting, imitating yelling and screaming in anger at each other. Off to the side was a girl crying; she said in broken-ness "Daddy why do I feel like Satan is taking control of my family?"

I couldn't hold back the tears- probably because I identified myself with that girl- I have known what that feels like to see my family ripping each other apart and feeling so helpless.

God's healed me from the pain of the past and I've been able to forgive my family, but there is still something inside of me that gets so defensive whenever I see and hear of such broken-ness within the families of those around me. I have big dreams for my future family- I guess I don't want my family to go through all the things that I have-I want to get it right you know- have a husband who is a strong spiritual leader and loving father- and be a mother who is compassionate, patient, and encouraging- I want to be completely unified with my husband in seeking God first, us to sharpen and pray with each other, and be radical in obedience to God in everything we do. I desire a family that serves God loyally to the end. I know its a great desire to have- and I think that it is one of the reasons why I have been able to be so controlled about saving myself completely for my future husband, because that future relationship I have with him and within our family is something extremely close to my heart.

I know that there will be many hardships and challenges in my future family- but I am working on myself and trying to become a more Christ-like person so when those challenges meet me face to face, I can handle them in love, and we will be able to get through them resting on the firm foundation of Christ. Satan attacks families so much because he knows how meaningful they are to God and to us.

My parents made mistakes. But just like God gives Grace, so will I. They are amazing people who love me unconditionally and I hope that more healing in our relationships will come. I value family and the relationship I will have with my future husband so so much.

God help me to grow to be more like you everyday. Teach me patience, gentleness, and peace especially right now. I want to be the most loving mother and wife for my future family as I can be. I pray in advance against any attacks the enemy would have on trying to break apart and pervert one of your greatest blessings on earth- family.

Tess

We need to stop making assumptions and take it to the Lord in prayer.
Nothing is impossible for him.

Rooted in Faith.

Less than a week ago I was standing outside on the field by the tree crying out to God and asking him for some sort confirmation that the worship set I planned on doing was spirit led- crying out for confirmation that I was hearing correctly what he wanted to speak to the school community this week at chapel.

I prayed alot for a confirmation but never really got an answer. I started to worry ( yes- thats what happens as soon as I stop trusting). I guess God showed me little signs throughout the week to keep me in confidence that the songs and scripture and little message I had planned were in fact what the students needed to hear, but in a sense I ignored them and kept worrying and seeking that confirmation.

I came across an article the other day that talked about faith and I realized that I needed to stand in faith with what I felt God told me even though I felt like I had received no answer.

I am here to tell you right now that the confirmation I was seeking was found in chapel today. The set was entirely spirit led- and Dennis the Vice President of our school even came up near the end to share something he had felt during worship. There is Beauty in the Ashes. It was powerful- and people couldn't deny that God's presence was there, they were coming up to me after and telling me that it was exactly what they needed to hear. God did something marvelous today- and taught me how to have faith in his still small voice.

It's the easy thing to doubt- but it brings no reward. Its the hard thing to trust- but the reward is great.

The set was about finding peace in times of hardship, about fixing our eyes on Jesus to find that peace, and understanding that Jesus has claimed victory over all the things that will try to bring us down.

Hebrews 12: ¹Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. ²Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. ³Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.

Remain Rooted in Faith..even when it feels like there is no answer.
Tess.

The Beauty of Your Peace. Tim Hughes.

Your voice has stilled the raging storms
The wind and waves bow down before
Your still small voice brings hope to all
Who wait on You, we'll wait for You
To lead us to the place where You'll restore our souls
And all our earthly strivings come to cease

Take from our souls the strain and stress
And let our ordered lives confess
The beauty of Your peace
The beauty of Your peace

Bright skies will soon be overhead
We'll enter in to Heaven's rest
There'll be no death, there'll be no pain
The things of old will pass away
You'll lead us to the place where You'll restore our souls
And all our earthly strivings come to cease

Isaiah 26:3
You will keep him in perfect peace,
Whose mind is stayed on You,
Because he trusts in You.

G.

I'm weeping as I write this. I'm literally overwhelmed with her pain.
I cant even imagine what it would be like.
Trying to get her to open up can be like twisting a jar lid with buttery fingers or waiting until a hermit crab comes out of its shell. She has no reason to trust anybody..

I don't know the full extent of what shes gone through. But I do know this. The pain is rooted deep.
Its taught her not to trust anybody, even herself. She doesnt know who she, just who others tell her she should be.

I'm glad she's found you. I hope she holds close to you. You are the only solution, every other pathway leads to destruction. You have big dreams for her- she is not defined by her circumstances. She may not know who she is- but you do. My prayer is that the broken mirror she looks into everyday would fade away, and that you would stand in its place and meet her face to face.

I'm no construction worker.

Living life on the firm ground
It aint easy sometimes but yet i know i’ll never fall
When my foundations on the rock
Nothing can shake me, nothing at all

Strong winds blow around me,
Life’s like a raging hurricane, my tears like raindrops
Sometimes there’s a rainbow
But I’ll stay standing, even when the storm stops

I’ll build my life on truth
Not on the sandy shore
(Oh It won’t be washed away)
I'll build my life on truth
On your word forevermore

Matthew 7:24-27