1st Unity Lesson Learned. Communication not Isolation.

Tonight was our first tour performance. We tried to capture the laughs of each moment as we entered our squished 10 passenger van with anticipation for the moment to come. Things were fun, we made many silly jokes about mis-pronounced lines (ahem personable) but behind the scenes a tension started to grow in the little sarcastic comments inserted throughout conversation.

Our first show went great, except for the few medias errors Rob claims were a "test". The real greatness of it all in regards to our team however did not coming during the performance but afterwards in my opinion.

I'm going to be real honest right now because I know alot of people will identify with me. At the beginning of the preparation for this tour I started to believe I wasn't needed and wouldn't be accepted. I'm just a backup singer with a few lines I thought, what good do I have to contribute? I let that lie precede the truth that I had a very important spiritual and emotional role to play in that team that no-one else could. The key to my problem lay in this though, I didn't want people to know I felt that way so I mostly just kept it to myself. My lips were sealed. Tonight after ministry time it flooded to the surface when I saw the other four girls praying together and felt like they didn't even care or notice that I wasn't with them. Lie #2. (they had looked for me when they started the prayer but I let my self-pity get in the way and told myself that they hadn't even remembered me.)

Tears fell down my face but I wiped them away quickly. The rest of the team will think I'm insecure and weak if I tell them I feel this way though. Lie #3.

I isolated myself from the socializing afterwards and sat in the van listening to the loud conversation but not participating. The lies inside of began to grow even more. Now I was actually creating the situation I was trying to avoid. I knew that I had to speak out and share how I was feeling or things would get worse.

So I rallied up the girlies and sat down and communicated exactly how I was feeling. Turns out they were all feeling similar things. We may not speak or play or sing like someone else but each of us is important and we wouldn't be able to do the tour without each other. We addressed the harmfulness of sarcastic comments and cutting each other down. The tongue is a powerful tool used to communicate. It can be used to communicate two things, love or resentment. We should spare our tongue when the comments will not build someone else up. However this does not mean that we should stray away from conflict or avoid it all cost. Bringing up conflict and issues we have with one another in love often builds in each other humility and character. A fear of offence is not biblical. In fact Jesus was anything but scared of offense (we see this when he turns up the tables in the temple). As long as it is done in love, and we are willing to accept the a word of correction ourselves, communication about these things will bring us closer together.

Proverbs 10:17
17 He who heeds discipline shows the way to life,
but whoever ignores correction leads others astray.

Isolating ourselves from conflict and not talking about our feelings to each other is often what causes division. People begin to pity themselves and start thinking false things about others because there has been no communication.

When all five of us began to open up and share about where we are struggling, repent together and encourage each other in our strengths we began to see real Godly unity being birthed. Those who are strong are not able to help those who are weak if they don't know whats going on, if there is no communication and lots of isolation.