James 4:8 Come near to God and he will Come near to you.

God I wish I could be completely honest and say that I have been putting you first in my life. The reality is I haven't. I have made my job and my school the top priority in my life- so much so that they have pretty much sucked out most of time- so I have little time left to give to you. I haven't been taking a sabbath, I havent been reading my bible regularly, and I have been too tired to spend each night before bed getting lost in conversation with you like I used too.

I know this financial burden is a big one, but I don't need to carry it. Rid me of this unbelieving spirit God. This unbelief that you will provide for my school- and this belief that I need to work as much as my body can possibly take to save up and pay it off. I'm getting weary and tired quickly.

Teach me to have more faith and trust.

The fighting hasn't really stopped...in fact its seems to get worse. In the Heart of the Artist Rory Noland said something that really stuck with me "Our ministry is the product of our relationship with Christ." I realized I'm letting Satan pull me as far away from God as he can with the lies that "God won't provide." "Nothing will ever change so just get used to it" "You will never find forgiveness." He is attacking my very relationship with God and ministry. My ministry at home where God has placed me for this time isn't making much of an impact because my relationship with God isn't in the place it should be right now...

I need to seek God first above all else and discipline myself to read his word on a daily basis. God help us to grow again into that deep connection we had over the summer. I want to know you more intimately than I have before.

Your daughter.