It's not mine anyway.

Just the other day I was standing at the bus stop and God challenged me to do something.

I didn't want to do it. I didn't want to give up what I have been holding so close. What it appears I need the most right now...

"It's not yours" he told me. "I gave it to you in the first place. It's mine and I'm telling you to give it away."

"But..But.." I replied "You know that I need this right now. I have to use it for so many things."

Then I went off telling myself that I must be hearing wrong- that I must be making it up. In fact even now I can feel the doubt crouching up on me. My heart started pounding. As the time passed by his voice seemed to grow louder- until he was literally shouting-"Walk over there and give it away! How can you be selfish and keep it to yourself when I gave it to you in the first place!" Then the very own song I had written played itself over and over again in my mind. Ha!

I envisioned how I would do it in my mind. He was just lying there on the ground huddled up in a sleeping bag, I would walk over and hand it to him, wish him a Merry Christmas and then leave. The only problem was I just couldn't get my legs to move.

Then my mom called. As she was talking to me on the phone I grew desperate. The bus was almost here..I could see it coming down the street and I was stuck on the phone. "Wait one sec" I told her. I walked over there with all the strength I could muster and handed it to him. He looked up at me with shock written all over his face. I wished him a Merry Christmas and stood frozen at the bus stop, a little shocked as well, at what I had just done.

Gods voice spoke one more time "He needed it more than you. Although you do not know how he is going to use it I do, and that is why you need to trust me. You hold it so close as if I can't provide it again, as if you don't believe that I will deliver but your precious paper is insignificant in my eyes. It is not what gives you the clothes on your back, nor the home that you live, nor the family that you have, stop acting like its your security. Learn to be secure in only me. I give you everything you have."

Don't you think its kinda ironic that he taught me that those papers are not what keep me alive, yet he used my reluctant obedience to help keep that man alive? HaHa I think it is...yes God your a funny one. I also think its kinda funny that he is teaching me this lesson now, right around the most consumer friendly season of the year.

As I reflect on this experience I recall the story in Mark 12:41-43.

⁴¹Jesus sat down opposite the place where the offerings were put and watched the crowd putting their money into the temple treasury. Many rich people threw in large amounts. ⁴²But a poor widow came and put in two very small copper coins,worth only a fraction of a penny.

⁴³Calling his disciples to him, Jesus said, "I tell you the truth, this poor widow has put more into the treasury than all the others. ⁴⁴They all gave out of their wealth; but she, out of her poverty, put in everything—all she had to live on."

That my friends is an example of someone who has learned to be secure in God for everything she had. It says she "put in everything-all she had to live on." That is a woman who trusted God with her life. She didn't put her security in pieces of paper or shiny metal, she placed her security in God. So today I want to challenge you.

Where does your security lie?

I know my security lately has definitely been lying in the wrong place..my bank account.

Think about it. And once you've thought about it think about ways that you can place your complete security in him this Christmas and bless others.

If that woman can trust God for everything-to even get through the next day-then I know the small measure of faith I have been given to trust him in this.

In the words of JJ Heller.

"You make life worth living

You make me want to start giving  

More and more away to you   

 It's not mine anyway" 

Merry Christmas!

Tess =)