Thoughts on Community.

I haven't blogged in a while and right now I am just bursting at the seams with things I want to say. I was at Rock the River tonight with the youth group of CAC and it was alot of fun! But mostly because of the people I was with.

I knew so many people there that every twenty feet I would be greeted by someone who I had made memories with. I felt so loved and involved in the christian community of the Lower Mainland and a part of what God is doing in the area.

It got me thinking about the community and Christ-like relationships Jesus intended us to have. These kind of relationships are not surface level but go deeper on an emotional and spiritual level. The forgiveness and unconditional love that is expressed within these relationships sets them apart. God uses the Holy Spirit within our friends to speak to us and convict us and give us hope.

The love we have for one another is what sets us apart from the rest of the world and points straight to Jesus. There is no doubt about it that Christ-like relationships and Christ-centered community is important. Somehow though people have got themselves into thinking that their relationship with Jesus is only personal. That they don't need church or community to grow spiritually and that it is ok to just keep it to themself. They have themselves fooled; until they discover the importance of community within the Body of Christ they will miss out on a many wonderful opportunity to witness God working here on earth.

My life would only be better if...

Have you ever been unsatisfied? Have you wanted something more, wanted something someone else had or even yet wanted to be someone else. I'm pretty sure we all have, and probably do right now if we are honest with ourselves. If I asked you right now to make a list of what you want off the top of your head I'm sure you could do it, and it would be a long long list.

I'm not ashamed to admit that these are just a few of some of the things I desire.

A better job

A kinder manager

A family that understands me

Friends that are closer

Nicer clothes

More exciting opportunities

Money for travel

To meet my husband

To be a better musician

To be slimmer

"My life would only be better if..." is in our heads constantly, or at least it's in mine. Thinking that a single one of these things will satisfy me and make my life better will never lead me closer to Christ; it will lead me even deeper into my own selfishness and insecurity. This pursuit of worldly happiness is endless, we will always want more. It is also fruitless because every time we give that desire the power to control how we feel, it will inevitably fail us and the real long lasting happiness we sought is nowhere to be found.

Today I was reading my devotions in 1 Timothy 6 and these verses caught my attention.

^"6But godliness with contentment is great gain. ⁷For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it. ⁸But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that."

Being content with only food and clothing seems a near impossible task in this culture where advertisements and the media draw thick lines between how much stuff we have, the reputation we have, the job we have, the people we know, the person we date and how happy and satisfied we will be.

However once we understand that we do not deserve anything and that we have been given everything we have contentment is found.

This summer has been hard to adjust to because I love to be with people, go places, and do ministry all the time. I also hate my manager, feel so mistreated at work, and get paid very little.

But God has been teaching me to be thankful that I even have a family, friends and a job. He is showing me that without all the free time I have I would never be able to accomplish the goals I set for the summer which were a.) growing spiritually (which requires time spent in the word and in devotion) b. growing musically (which requires time spent practicing my instrument) and c. growing physically (which requires time spent at the gym).

God is good all the time. I repeat ALL THE TIME GOD IS GOOD. *I feel like saying that in a black church right now* Instead of wanting what this world offers me, which will only last in this short worldly life and has no significance in my eternal life down the road, I need to want more of Jesus. I need to want to become a better person, to endure hardship and build perseverance, to be tested and tried for my faith.

The good thing is, I do want these things. I also want to see Jesus brought into the lives of all of those around me even if they clearly see him in my life for but a moment. But the bad thing is that my fleshy desires often scream louder than my Godly ones sometimes.

The solution to muting those bad boys: Learning to find contentment in every situation and circumstance by recognizing that Jesus is the only one who will satisfy and everything I have been given is in the words of JJ Heller

"Not mine anyways"

Hope this helps,

Tess

Do I look 17?

The other day I was getting on the bus and I handed the driver $2.50. She looked at me and said "No No Sweetie! It's only a 1.75 for you!" Me: "I'm 20" Her: "Oh well I thought you were 17" Me: "Nope!"

Ever since I was a little girl I have wanted to go to Africa. There is this deep desire in my heart to go be a part of the culture I have found so fascinating. The overcoming joy and passion that I see in their faces as they worship and praise the Lord is something so divine, something I know that comes from their simple relationship with the Lord.

It seems that the opportunity has come up for me to go next year. I think I will do it. I think I will go for 3 months and serve.

There is still alot of stuff I need to figure out and sort through but I know one thing- I am going to AFRICA!!

Summer 2010. A New Beginning.

As the river flows

Your love carries me

Powerful and Strong

Like a current I can't see

When I go adrift

and turn my face away

Your grace is the net

that keeps me from harm's way

Oh the fabric of your grace

will never break or fray

I wrote this today as I was sitting on Big Rock (seen in above picture) doing my devotions. At first the waters around me were calm and I could see the bottom. The path to the rock was completely clear. But not a long moment later I looked up and it was raging rapids all around me. The path to the rock was covered 4 feet deep in water! When I tried to get down a girl came across the trail and I cried out for help. I threw my books to her but she didn't catch them in time and they fell in the water. You know how when pages get wet they curl up and stick together? Well that's what happened to the book my music pastor lent to me for my internship. Ugh! But anyways, God spoke to me in that moment of his power and wrath and beautiful grace. If He can easily turn a calm stream into raging rapids by his strength and power what more can he do in my life? I have been neglecting this aspect of his character, His powerful nature, by letting small things in life plant in me seeds of doubt in myself and in what He can do through me.

This summer is different than all the rest. These past 4 summers I was away from home doing non-stop ministry where I was on the go all the time interacting with people about Jesus and serving wherever I could. I spent 3 of those summers doing camp ministry and one interning at Eastside Foursquare church in Seattle. I was doing what I love to do most, helping others learn to love Jesus more.

This summer is different because I am not away from home and I will spending alot of it alone during the day. I work in the evenings and have the days free and most of my friends do the opposite. Because I love to be out with people all the time it has been hard for me to adjust. I have become so used to always having so much to do in so little time that having lots of time and little things I need to do feels foreign.

Having an open agenda however is a beautiful opportunity to spend the time I have so desperately yearned to spend with my Saviour. In the quietness I am learning to fall in love with my best-friend once again. There is a real living lover of my soul named Jesus out there who is pursueing my heart and wants to grow closer to me. I think its good that I take a step back from ministering to others this summer and really let Jesus minister to me. This year has been so busy that it was rare that I ever got a moment to relax in His presence and let his word penetrate my heart.

This summer will be life-changing just has the others have been but in a new way. I will leave behind the insecure, doubting, anxious Tess and emerge confident in the plans God has for me, in the message He has called me to give to the world, and in deeper heart knowledge of how Big and Great and Powerful He is.

Bread to my spirit

I printed out a bible reading plan that will take me through the entire bible in a year. It's posted on my wall and every time I do a daily devotion I will cross off one of the days. I've only done two so far but have already seen the fruit of the word grow in me these past couple days.

I think that recording the main lessons I've learned from each one will be helpful and wise reminders for the future. So if you see one sentence blogs they are most likely the theme of my devotion for the day.

Here are the two I have already done.

1.) Before you seek his counsel be prepared to obey it. 1 Kings 22

2.) Real patience is found when it is tested again and again but still endures. 1 Timothy 1:16

Bumble-bee Humble-bee Humble-me

I've realized now that humility is not a frame of mind or a state of being. It is an attitude that acknowledges that God has given us everything we have and without him we would be nothing, our lives would mean nothing.

1 Corinthians 3:7 "So neither he who plants nor he who waters is anything, but only God who gives the growth."