Friday, November 28, 2008

You can't walk away from it..Isaiah 61


I bundled up in my warm winter jacket and prepared to go out into the heavy rain that I watched drip down my windows. The long bus ride to work would soon become a reality. At first I stood at the bus stop impatient and annoyed that I was getting wet, but as I looked around and reflected on God's ability to make something like rain, despised and unwanted, beautiful, my mind drifted elsewhere.

I got off at the usual spot, underneath an overpass by the main highway and walked toward my destination. I smiled at the men who had set up camp under the shelter there and talked with them as they remarked about the weather. My heart broke for them. Here I was in a warm jacket with a place to go and they had nowhere. I wanted so badly to take my Starbucks card and run over to Safeway and buy them each a hot chocolate. My bus was scheduled to come in 5 min and I was already gonna be late for work so I didn't, but I promised myself to do it in the week ahead of me.

I'm sure that so many people have walked to the bus stop just as I have and ignored them. These men are probably so used to it that it doesn't even hurt anymore.

My friend and also coworker and I briefly talked a little about why people grow closer to God in the midst of adversity this evening. He mentioned something like "I'm so full of emotion and fired up that I can actually feel something, that I call out to God even more..". The hurt and emotion these homeless people have is so buried that is barely recognizable anymore. It has been there for so long that they just get used to it, and it becomes the sad but distant background music of their lives.

Once I was on the bus I watched the people as they got on. This one woman stood near the front and pulled out a lighter, a syringe and some other things and placed them on the seat. She injected right there on the bus, the children in front of me as witnesses. Though appalled at first, God reminded me of his heart for her and the pain that he was enduring to see his own child do this.

I used to help out at a homeless shelter in the depths of the Vancouver Eastside. Although I only got to go a few times, I learned so much, wisdom that will never leave me. This one man that I sat with pulled out a wrinkled picture of his daughter and looked at it with adoration. He told me he wished more than anything that he could see her more. His job was paying him minimum wage but he was saving up to buy her a bike for her birthday. Talk about sacrifice! This one man taught me two things 1.) Our family is priceless 2.) Why is it that those who have lost it all are willing to give anything to those important to them whereas those who have all they need struggle to give even a little?

Another woman I talked to told me about how she had everything, a loving family, a home to live in, a school to go to but yet when she started smoking marijuana in high school all of that was taken away from her..She had gone to law school for 2 years, dreaming of the day when she would become a law secretary but because of her criminal record due to her addiction, her chance was thrown away. She has two girls whom she is not allowed to see but imagines everyday the time when she might get to see them again. This one woman taught me three things 1.) Hope is never lost 2.) We can learn so much from others mistakes 3.) We take so much for granted

Freedom is available to all in Jesus Christ. His grace washes away our history, our past our mistakes, like the rain as it revives creation.
We have been called to help those who we sometimes see as helpless. We are all broken, we are all ashamed, no one is beyond the grips of our sovereign God.

We are so BLIND people! We are so BLESSED! We are CALLED to bring Gods hope to the hopeless, make known his love for the unloved, and proclaim the freedom we have been given through his sacrifice!

Put aside your fears and doubts and worries, the contempt this world tells us to feel for those who are less fortunate. Even a smile can bring happiness to those who feel like they have been isolated from the world in which they live. Dont walk by with your head down! A small sacrifice on our part can make the biggest difference.

Isaiah 61 - 1,2
1 The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me, because the LORD has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, [
a] 2 to proclaim the year of the LORD's favor and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn"

Break my heart from what breaks yours, Everything I am for your kingdoms cause, As I go from nothing to Eternity.

Tess-tify

Distractions

DISTRACTION DISTRACTION DISTRACTION

Why do I get distracted so easily? I've always asked myself that question.
Here I am trying to get settled with homework and stuff but once again I am writing
on my blog..I sit down with a nice cup of tea to get started but then I always find myself
either a.)checking my fridge for something to eat b.)playing with my dog c.)going on facebook
d.) looking outside and reflecting on the weather e.)or now that I have a blog, going on here.

I am a wandering soul. Always thinking. I shouldnt be surprised if this blog comes out to be practically the most random thing I've ever read. When I transfer my thoughts to paper, it is a release.

The things I write may or may not be witty or intelligent or surprisingly insightful, but I have determined that this blog is just gonna contain some of the million things that swirl around in my mind each day.

If you already think I'm ______ then you're prob right. I've already wasted 45 min of my essential essay minutes writing on here. I will NOT be distracted, I will NOT be distracted... -who am I kidding?

Thursday, November 27, 2008

I would always...

I would always dream of adventure, I would always dream of escape. I would always wish that people could apologize for their mistake.

I would always search for answers to my agony and pain. I would always search for reasons why I would always get the blame.

I would always reflect upon the times of hardships and strife. I would always reflect upon the times I felt you were missing in my life.

I would always find that when I asked you to show me that you were there. I would always find that you found a way to show me that you care.

I'm in awe of your sacrifice, I'm in awe of your name, that you would come and suffer so we didnt have to feel shame.

I always find that you bring comfort to those in need. I always find that you give power to all those you lead.

I always know your purpose is to great for me to understand. I always know my life is in the strongest hand.

Sometimes we go through challenges to develop perserverance. Sometimes we feel pain to help others who are going through the same pain. Sometimes our faith is tested but the rewards will overflow into our lives if we remain faithful.

Everyone calls out to God when they are discouraged and broken. I do not regret at one moment any of the trials and hardships in my life.

God has shown me so many times how he can work through my sufferings to help others. Not only does he make me stronger, (for it is in those times that we often call out to God the most), he also helps me to relate and share his truth with others who have gone through the same things. And the best thing is..he never leaves me when I am going through them.

As far as the many difficult things I will face in the many years ahead of me in this journey called life, I will embrace them. I believe with all my heart that everything happens for a reason and although I cannot even come close to comprehending the whys, I know they each fit into
Gods bigger picture.

SO BRING IT ON!

Traumatic things USED to define my life.


I've always thought that my tendency to cause teeth biting, lip curling, on the ground in tears, embarrassing moments was a curse. These moments used to plague me. They werent the typical walking into a wall or tripping down the stairs kinda moments, although I have had many of those, these were the kinda things that would have people talking for days. They would make references for weeks afterwards. (and yes the thing they are laughing at in the picture is me lol)

I've never really considered the effect that these had on me as a kid. I would always shrug them off or laugh with people, though deep down I was humiliated. I've realized now that I always wanted peoples approval. I wanted to be liked and I wanted to fit in. I thrived off of it. This just made the sting of insults even more painful.

God has been teaching me that his approval is more important than anybody elses. He has given me confidence in who I am, a beautiful creation. I do not need the opinions of others to affect what I do or how I do it. As long as its for his will-I will go out there and do it with my whole heart no matter what other people will say. This authority he has given me continues to change the way I look at things and how I do them.

Traumatic things still happen to me, ALOT but the difference is that I've learned to accept that they make me, ME. Now whenever something embarrassing happens to me, I shrug it off and laugh knowing that it will make one heck of a story to tell later!

Your crazy, Tessa roonie <3

Stress. Errggh


What is stress? It is a monster. It devours willpower, causes our minds to spin faster than a ride at the PNE and kills our immunity slowly, it can even be deadly!

I'm not gonna lie I am so stressed out right now. Finals and Reports are all due next week and I have barely started on them. I know its my own fault..stress is the child of my procrastination.

At the same time I feel at peace about it. I know that my God is sovereign and has everything under control. Even when I feel like I'm doomed for failure or not capable he reminds me that everything will be alright. I am his child and he has a plan to prosper me and not to harm me, plans to give me a hope and a future. (Jeremiah 29:11)

For I know that..
"No eye has seen
No ear has heard
No mind has conceived
What God has prepared
for those who love him."

His plan for us is far greater than what we can ever imagine. We try to do things on our own and just end up feeling insufficient, like we are climbing up a rope a foot at a time but falling down two until we hit the bottom. Not getting anywhere...

We can get through life on our own, but when we have our Father helping us we can do so so much more. For it is him who inspires us, gives us strength and wisdom in situations, and works through us.

Psalm 3:5-6 Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.

We do not need to stress if we have faith in his beautiful and wonderful plan for lives. Follow him with your heart and everything else will come.

School is overwhelming right now but it is a small part of God's bigger picture, his masterpiece. Give up your doubts that you will not succeed and discipline yourself to do his work. Cause hes got "You and me brother in his hands, You and me sister in his hands, hes got the whole world in his hands!"Trusting in the Lord is the ultimate stress reliever. Now go and use it!